Friday, March 13, 2009

Bulbs and Buds

I am looking forward to Sunday afternoon. Wednesday the kids and I went to visit my mother for lunch. While there we divided her lilies. I think I have possibly close to 150 bulbs. We had such a good time, my mother, grandmother, myself and the kids. The kids were pulling up clumps and shaking the dirt over everyone. It was a beautiful day with sun and a light breeze. I hope it was a special day that they will remember.

Sunday is supposed to be sunny. With the rain expected for today and Saturday, the ground should be easy to dig in. Hopefully in a few months I will have a bank of lilies to show off.

I am looking forward to my Burgess shipment to come in. I ordered some creeping red sedum to finish off the hill and elephant ears to add to my caladium bed.

I left all the leaves in my yard last fall in hopes of keeping the soil from eroding too much and adding a healthy layer to my beds. I was excited to see after digging carefully underneath tiny ferns uncurling, the small tops of astible and lobelia. I am anxious for my hostas to return as well. The dogwood is budding out too. Spring is always so exciting to me.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


Proverbs 28:1313
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

When I made my first confession as a Catholic, I was terrified. It meant I must go before a man I would be seeing at least once a week and tell him about all of the dark spots on my soul. I imagined him condemning me every time he looked upon me. It made me cringe and want to hide. But I knew I needed the Absolution received from the act of Confession and Contrition. So I went feeling like a small child, scared and ashamed. (Luke 18:17 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.) I did not know how to begin or if I even could. But the words started to flow and the tears streamed. With each moment, my heart grew lighter and this burden dropped away.

On the way home, I stopped at a cemetery on a little country road. Why I didn't pray at the church I don't know, but I felt such a sense of solitude and communion with God in that place that day. My prayers were of sorrow for my sins and thanksgiving for my forgiveness. Not since the day of my Baptism had I felt such elation.

The trepidation of going to confession has dwindled away for me as time has passed. Now I look forward to unburdening my heart. I never want to attempt to live life bearing the full burden of my sins again. Handing them over makes living life so much easier. Every Sunday there comes a point in the Mass in which I have this immense sense of elation, thankfulness, God's mercy and knowing that I am loved. It is during the Consecration. I can only pray that those around me experience such wondrous knowing of the beauty and love of God.

To be able to come to such a communion with our Lord, I believe a person has to first unburden themselves. They must acknowledge the shame and guilt they hold of their sins and put it before Him asking for forgiveness.

1432 The human heart is heavy and hardened. God must give man a new heart.25 Conversion is first of all a work of the grace of God who makes our hearts return to him: "Restore us to thyself, O LORD, that we may be restored!"26 God gives us the strength to begin anew. It is in discovering the greatness of God's love that our heart is shaken by the horror and weight of sin and begins to fear offending God by sin and being separated from him. The human heart is converted by looking upon him whom our sins have pierced:27

And then they must let those sins go. Holding on, by means of not allowing the self to forgive the self, drags the soul out of communion. Holding on in itself is a sin. A horrific sin at that. By holding on, one does not acknowledge that God has forgiven them and thus is an unbeliever.

Consider John 20:19-23
"On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them,"Peace be with you." When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, " Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you." And when he had said this He breathed on them, and said to them: "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained'"

He is saying these words to His disciples,"If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." If we cannot forgive ourself for our sins, how can we expect God to forgive them?

Mark 3:24
If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand.

We must be united with God, Christ and the Holy Spirit if we are to be received into the glory of heaven.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Laugh for the Day

If you don't at least giggle at this, there is something wrong with you.

We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran asingle wire along the t op of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattlecharger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground round, drove 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo20Walmart 6hp bigwheelpushmower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 gigavolt fencewire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my balls trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and the POS lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses. Science says you cannot crap, and pee at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences... but Dad alwayshad those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!

Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, and pee with my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God, please die... pleeeeze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day...he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created...I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire.... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grassspots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot were the wire had layed while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.

Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep Irealized a few things.
1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.
2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).
3- Poop, and pee when mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.
4- My left eye will not open.
5- My right eye will not close.
6- The lawnmower runs like a sumnabitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.
7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long
8- I can turn on the TV in the gameroom by farting while thinking of thenumber 4 (still don’t understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.


Since we have moved into our home in December 2007, we have seen 4 snowfalls. This is quite unusual for our deep south location. The forecasters are calling for 70 degree weather by the weekend. That's the south for you.

Gabriel had a great time throwing snowballs at his Dad. (And Dad had a great time too!)

Grace had to wear my gloves. She has two pair, but in the last week they seemed to have disappeared. She was dressing up she says. That means I will find them after she has outgrown them.

This was Sean's first time in the snow. He ran around the yard yelling "Snow! Snow!" He helped his Daddy make the big snowman.

The snow fell heavier after we came in from playing. Our little snowman became a fuzzy blob.
We had a wonderful snow day.