When I was a child and sometimes in my adult life, I would wake up feeling like there was something in the room standing over me. I would frantically try to make my eyes focus on what ever loomed over me in the gloom. (This is a daunting task considering I can't see the big E on the chart.) A haze would swirl around and then the room would come into focus as my eyes adjusted to the dark. Some nights I would make it back to sleep, some I wouldn't. There were many nights in college I slept with the lights on. Even though there was nothing there in front of me, I could still feel it. It was quite terrifying to be honest.
Last night, in the half sleep still going through my prayers, I was awakened again. This was the first time it has happened in this house. The haze swirled around hovering over my bed. This time I could make out tendrils and tips that my mind played into wings. The old panic started to rise in my chest, but then a very calming thought crossed my mind: this was my guardian angel. I said a quick prayer for my angel and for the first time after such an episode fell peacefully back to sleep.
The Church teaches "From its beginning until death, human life is surrounded by their watchful care and intercession. 'Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and shepherd leading him to life.' Already here on earth the Christian life shares by faith in the blessed company of angels and men united in God."
No evil shall befall you, nor shall affliction come near your tent, for to His Angels God has given command about you, that they guard you in all your ways. Upon their hands they will bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.
Psalm 91: 10-12
As I have taken the time to learn more about angels and their role in my life, I have begun to give much more of my day over to God. If I am open to God's guidance through my angel, things will fall into place. Trying to take things in my own hands and forcing an outcome doesn't work. It causes more grief and pain than was ever necessary.
It is a huge leap of faith to allow God to work unfettered in my life. But it liberates me from unnecessary worry. This realization makes me ponder whether pessimists are control freaks and optimists are comfortable just being in His hands.
In Exodus, God spoke to Moses, telling him He sent an angel before him to guide and guard him on his journey.
Exodus 23:20-22 "See, I am sending an angel before you, to guard you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared. Be attentive to him and heed his voice. Do not rebel against him, for he will not forgive your sin. My authority resides in him. If you heed his voice and carry out all I tell you, I will be an enemy to your enemies and a foe to your foes."
All those times the "little voice in the back of your head" nagged you do or not do something....you should have listened. I have become a more trusting listener to that little voice. And my life has become better for it.
Quick verses for your angel:
Angel of God, my guardian dear,
to whom His love commits me here,
ever this day be at my side,
to light and guard, to rule and guide.
Angel sent by God to guide me,
be my light and walk beside me;
be my guardian and protect me;
on the paths of life direct me.
In honor of your guardian angel, celebrate today with a peace of angel food cake.